The Veganoid: Namaste my fellow Veganoids

WHAT IS A VEGANOID?

A combination of two elements;

veg·an /ˈvēgən/

(Noun) A person who does not eat or use animal products.

hu·man·oid /ˈ(h)yo͞oməˌnoid/

(Adjective) Having an appearance or character resembling that of a human.

Therefore Vegan + Humanoid = Veganoid

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A VEGAN AND A VEGANOID?

None really. Essentially you are the same as any other plant-based individual, however you may find people calling you a "veeeeegan" with mean eyes and a condescending tone to be rather tiring thus creating the need to call oneself something with a little more pizazz hense the term Veganoid. Veganoid should be a word that you exclaim with filled lungs and a gestural hand, do not whisper it otherwise it will sound like hemorrhoid.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M A VEGANOID?

If you enjoy/embrace/love any of the following things;

Eating loads of green shit
Not eating animals and animal products (this is a compulsory one)
Pumpkin in any shape, form, size and mass.
Tofu
Green Tea (the fancier the better)
Non-vegan stuff made vegan e.g. Tofurky
You check labels not for calories but for milk powder (why is it in friggin' everything?)
You are on a never-ending quest to find a replacement for cheese
You giggle every time you hear someone say "nut cheese"
You have hippy tendencies and likes e.g. camping, crystals, yoga, clouds
You have candles, lots and lots of candles
You like sitting on the floor

WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW THAT I KNOW I AM A VEGANOID?

Tell your boss, bake some vegan stuff, eat an avocado, do a little jig, look at yourself in the mirror, air punch and shout "WINNER", light a candle (or ten) and read on bitches 'cos mamas got some cookin' to do!